When Your Beliefs Fail You

Last week my friend sent me a text that said "my hopes and dreams are shattered." She had just found out her test score that, in one second, stumped her long held career goal in life. Living vicariously through my friend's successes in life, I was really devastated by this news as I rooting for her to do well. 

You see, about a month prior to taking this test I introduced my friend to The Secret and she absolutely loved it. The Secret is the documentary-turned-book by Rhonda Bryne that teaches on the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking. My friend was pumped! Yeah, she studied (it's debatable -- did she study enough? Did she not? How much is enough?) yet I would say most of her hope was riding on what the Secret taught -- that positive thoughts manifest positive outcomes. 

She took this in wholeheartedly. She kept the perfect score on her mind. She noticed coincidences that hinted she would do well. She confidently spoke about which schools she would apply to. Where she would live, etc. And then reality set in. Her test score came back and I got that heartbreaking text. Of course my first reaction was "Oh, shit! Did I do this? Maybe this whole positive thinking is bullshit! Why did I tell her to watch it? Why do I like reading about this stuff so much?!" 

A part of me felt guilty for the role I may have played. Did she study less because she felt that being positive was all she needed? Did she rush her exam date? Then back to thinking "God, why did I have to be the one to show her this stuff!"

I wanted to know where it went wrong and why her beliefs had failed her. Here is what I had come up with: 

a. The Law of Attraction is a lie. Maybe it just doesn't work. That being positive or negative doesn't affect any outcomes in our life. That what's gonna happen is going to happen regardless of what we think. 

b. That subconsciously she wasn't truly positive. Maybe at a subconscious level there was still doubt that she would not do well therefore overriding all her positivity. 

c. That the Law of Attraction works but great effort is still required. It's possible that the Law works but the bigger our desire, the greater real-life effort we have to put in to achieve it. 

d. There is a Law even greater than the Law of Attraction. Maybe there's an all knowing universe at play that has even bigger plans for us but our small minds can't fathom it so we view life events as merely "failure" or "success."

e. That if she was going to put hope in anything, it should be to God. My little sister said this. She explained that perhaps the flaw in the Law of Attraction is that it teaches you to put so much faith in yourself that you neglect the need for God.  

f. The Law of Attraction is real. Maybe the Law still works and this incident doesn't change anything. Every day people throughout every religion and culture hope for miracles and yet when another uneventful day passes, they continue to believe. 

I started thinking this does not have to change my belief in the Law of Attraction just as simply as having an unanswered prayer does not change my belief in God. Many things in life don't have clear cut answers and this may just be another example. 

The Productivity Blues

I haven't quit blogging yet, but at this point I'm moving slower than an injured snail. Usually I post something about once a week when I feel like it and that has to be the stupidest I could do. In case you don't know NEVER wait for your feelings to come around to do anything in Life. Do you think full length screenplays would ever be completed if the writer just wrote when he felt like it? Would songs be recorded? Books be published? 

I don't care how passionate you are about your Life no one is above feeling too tired, too brain-blocked, too weak etc to do what they know they should be doing. If anything, our feelings  are good for leading us to inspirational messages, thoughts, ideas, etc but beyond that they only serve our weaker self who is always too "something" to ever get shit done. 

Now I've known this for awhile and yet I'm still stuck in the same trap. Still only writing when I feel like. How much simpler would Life be if we lived up to the things we already know? 

Well that's what I'm going to try to do here. Ignore my feelings when they don't serve me. I've decided I better stop pretending I can write Monday through Thursday when I've spent all my energy at work and instead write several posts on the weekends that I can publish on my blog throughout the weekdays.   

Now you may think, I'm taking the inspiration out of the message. Not exactly. Like I mentioned I love the feeling when I think of a new topic to write about. I jot it down. And the feeling behind that idea/topic stays with me for weeks. It's just a matter of being honest with myself about when I'll actually get around to writing about it.

(insert real awesome quote about being productive here.)

The One... again

The other day I was out for a walk and decided on a fresh take on the concept of The One. For being a 26 year old girl, I honestly don't think about men as much as people think I should but for some reason this was on my mind. 

I've decided that I really like the idea that any man you love could be The One. And at the same time he's not The One. He is both. Why limit your entire love story to one person? Why feel you missed your opportunity because the One passed you by. Let's just say he wasn't the only One. hehe:)

Life is meant to be fun, joyous, pure, full of unconditional love, rainbows, and unicorns. That's what I believe and I want my beliefs to always work in my favor. So if I meet an amazing guy, I can definitely believe that he is the One that was divinely picked out for only me. And if I miss the opportunity with an amazing guy, I believe there are other Ones. 

(beautiful painting by Leonid Afremov)

Is that lying to myself? Maybe. But I don't think so. What I believe is what's true for me.

It happens in people's lives all the time. You know someone who you cannot imagine life without and you know what, it may never work with them. You guys met when neither of you was available. You don't live in the same area. He has demons to overcome while you're ready then he's ready and now you got to face your own demons etc. That doesn't mean you don't love each other. Or that they're not the One. But at the same time, I don't think you should become stagnant and think there aren't other people to meet out there.

Be faithful. Be true. And know that you are full of love -- to give out. There is an infinite amount so don't limit your love to only the Ones. 

Phillipians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Make Me Rich, B.

If you know me, you may know that this is my 793rd attempt at blogging. According to Blogger.com, I've had my account open since 2007 with my first post written on February 4th, 2007. And outside of Blogger, I've written other pieces as well but I've hid most of my old material since I started to notice a common theme: sad depressing thoughts. And that's just not the way I like to think about Life anymore. Here was my first post on Blogger:

Feb 4th, 2007
"I was just thinking if anyone ever wonders about what their doing. I'm sitting here working on homework but i can't help but think if this what i was meant to be do at this time and day....my homework. Is it wrong to not feel motivated to do things because you know that we all have the same fate in the end? I'm not necessarily feeling this way but I know someone who is. I mean just imagine achieving everything you have ever dreamed of only to find out it was all for waste.

Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream! For the soul is dead that slumbers, and things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art; to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul.--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow"

Besides my long history with blogging you may also know I have always talked about making a career out of it. Sometimes I say it jokingly, and sometimes I'm serious. I'm not even sure anymore. Most bloggers I admire have made a career out of it so it is possible, but like most people I have self-doubt. They say you need to find your niche to gain a loyal following and I haven't really discovered that yet although I think my blog would fall under: simple living, conscious living, forgiveness, love, etc basically all things nice :)

One thing I have noticed about bloggers who have made it and those those who haven't is consistency in writing. Simply put, bloggers are the biggest quitters I know. When I am roaming through random blogs, almost every single one I go through hasn't had an update in months which explains why it's hidden in the masses. On the other hand, some of the better known bloggers on the internet, James Altucher or Joshua Becker (who I just discovered is from Peoria, AZ and has over 100,000 monthly readers!) write new quality material almost every few days. 

So where do I fall? Well I'm definitely a quitter -- or at least that's what my track record shows. I'm not even going to pretend I can keep it up. Throughout my day I am constantly making goals for myself and quitting them all within the same minute. But sometimes, just sometimes  ...I set my mind to something and I actually make it happen.

Discouraging Danny

It's been the twice now that some good friends of mine admitted that I have discouraged them from trying something new or from being honest about something they wanted to share. ME? OF ALL PEOPLE? If you know me, I'm 24/7 on this "positivity" kick so to hear that sucks.
One friend told me she wanted to start taking guitar lessons and I responded: "You're just like me. You're always trying to find something to do to distract you from doing what you really want." In my defense, I compared her to myself so I didn't mean any disrespect but honestly when she told me, flat out, that she never signed up for guitar lessons simply because I discouraged her, I was so heartbroken. I apologized over and over and then I thought about it all night.

      
                                    

       (Okay, maybe it does. But you didn't hear it from me!)

Why would I say that? I mean at the time I did really believe that but why would I discourage someone from wanting to do something they were excited to learn.

I should know how horrible it feels when someone shits on your idea. Since I graduated from college in 2008 I've had people discourage me from trying different things (wanted to try the Peace Corp and my mom shot that idea down in .00025 seconds).

When you are discouraged from trying something, it can quickly kill the excitement you felt when you first started thinking about it. You almost become ashamed to even bring it up again.

Then the other day, another friend was telling me the latest news in her life and cut the story short. Her reasoning: "If I tell you any more you're just gonna tear down the idea." Then she went to say she liked what she was now believing to be true and didn't want me to "ruin it."

She didn't bluntly tell me I discouraged her but it played out in a similar scenario. So here I am talking "positivity this and positivity that" and my own friends think I am discouraging to talk to.

Now I don't say this to get sympathy or because I feel bad. I actually don't.  I just don't like being that person. Negative Nancy, Debby Downer, Discouraging Danny...

This is not some problem I need to fix. For me, it's as simple as consciously deciding I NEVER want to be that person who tells you not to try something again. So to all my friends, you wanna do what?! ...Tell me more!

The 10 Hardest Teachings of Jesus

Here is the list of what I think are the 10 hardest teachings of Jesus. The Bible is a wonderful guide on how to live. It is primarily a positive text on how to manifest the promises of God, yet alongside these great promises are some expectations on how we should deal with other people. When you go through the list, you will see why I think these are the "hardest" teachings to follow. Also keep in mind that as far as I know, none of these teachings include a "but" clause so as "Christians" we are expected to follow each teaching without an explanation or excuse to the contrary. 

1. Honor Your Father and Mother. Depending on how you were raised, this can either be a simple request or very hard to do. 

2. Accept That There Will Be More Rejoicing in Heaven Over One Sinner Who Repents Than Over 99 Righteous Persons Who Do Not Need To Repent. Sounds unfair but the Bible has more than one parable basically teaching this same message. That the prize goes to the reformed sinner versus the one who has been living right all along. The best example of this is showcased in the parable of the Prodigal Son. 


3. Accept That Everyone Who Exalts Himself Will Be Humbled And He Who Humbles Himself Will Be Exalted. The flesh and the spirit are at war with each other so you cannot exalt yourself in the flesh (hold high regard for yourself in worldly matters) and pretend to be humble at the same time. 

4. Accept That the Last Will Be First and The First Will Be Last. The best example of this is in the parable of the workers in the vineyard. Some workers arrived during the first hour to work and others arrived at the 11th hour and yet the landowner gave everyone equal pay --one denarius. Seems unfair but the bible reminds us that the last will be first and the first will be last. 

4. Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. Sounds feasible, right? If you surround yourself with good people who treat you well, you can learn to love them as much as you love yourself --because let's be honest. Most of our thoughts revolve around ourselves. We are a self-interested bunch. It's not wrong, it's just the way it is. 

5. Love Your Enemies. Now here comes the good hard stuff! Who as a Christian can honestly say they make an effort to "love" their enemy, whatever that means? Well in case you didn't know how to "love" your enemy, the Bible goes on to further explain. 

6. Do Not Judge. First things first, do not judge anyone. Once again, there is no "but" clause in this statement so no one is excluded. It doesn't matter what anybody does, it doesn't matter. Do not judge. 


7. Bless Those Who Curse You. As Christians, we are to bless, or want "happiness and prosperity with life-joy and satisfaction" to those who speak ill of us. Can you believe that!?

8. Forgive Those Who Hurt You. And not just once, but multiple times.  In fact, don't even keep count of offense because no number you reach can null and void this teaching.

9. Accept That When Someone Strikes You on the Right Cheek, Turn to Him The Other Also. Kudos to the person who has mastered this teaching. This is basically asking us to remove every little ounce of urge we have to show revenge to people who have hurt us. So much so that we are asked to "turn the other cheek." How profound!

10. Pray For Those Who Mistreat You. Hurting people hurt people. When we are hurt it is very easy to let our minds wonder aimlessly to the point of obsession. But really think about the other person for one second. Many times we know deep inside that this person is hurting themselves. Pray for your own healing but pray for their healing as well. 

Does this sound like a fair list of the "hardest" but probably the most rewarding teachings of Jesus? Can you think of any other "hard" teachings to follow when it comes to how we should treat other people? 

It Always Works Out

The other day I was checking in an older gentleman at the clinic. He spoke a broken English but just enough that you could still understand. Coming from two parents who speak broken English, I can say there is really something powerful when people try hard to find the right words in a language they barely know. It's almost endearing.

In any case, I let this gentleman know that he had a $10 dollar copay I would be collecting up front, so he gave a $20 dollar bill. Naturally, I printed him a receipt for the $10 I collected and gave him his remaining $10 change.

I'm not sure why he got confused by this since he felt compelled to mention that he gave me $20 dollars, not $10. Of course I agreed and explained that's why I was giving him a receipt for the $10 copay and then the $10 dollars back in change.

I don't think he really understood what I said, to be honest, but he just gave me this heartfelt chuckle and said in perfect English: "It always works out."

Now maybe I took this to mean so much more to him, but I swear the way he said it, so perfect, and so sincere just really made me believe this was his motto in life and that indeed it had always worked out for him.

I was just thinking, that's a beautiful affirmation to say to ourselves: IT ALWAYS WORKS OUT.
Thank you, random stranger.

There is healing power in my words

I am learning that there is power in our words. Here is some more insight into the power of our words.

"Out of the same mouth come forth blessing, and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so." James 3:10

Sometimes I think it is okay to curse as long as its not out of anger. But why curse in the first place? We are taught our statements are more bold if a curse word is thrown in there, but how talented is the person who can still make a bold statement with simple words.

I think one of the keys to maturing in life is self-control and discipline. And when it comes to our speech, although we may think to curse is no big deal, it is a step towards disciplining ourselves about the things we say (negatively) towards others.

"A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

When it comes to speaking ill of others, they say that when you know better you are held more accountable than the person who does not. All I can say is at my age, I should know better. One of the remedies to speaking ill of people is to learn to not say anything at all. Learn to just keep your mouth shut and don't give the urge in you an opportunity to speak.

Even during Jesus' trial, it states: "When he was oppressed, he opened not his mouth."

Even after we have this under control, we need to realize that taming the tongue also includes the confessions we say about ourselves: "I look ugly. I don't think I did a good job. We've always had trouble with money."

If you think like me then you may believe that by speaking these things, you continue to manifest these problems in your life. You must believe there is a treasure in your trial because honestly there is no reason why you would be created, via by definition of science or religion, as a human to just live a lowly existence. It just makes sense that you being here on Earth is purpose enough, and if anything, all that is happening around you is to further your benefit --either now or later down the road.



(sorry if my thoughts are scatterbrained. I will try to organize my topics a little better. Also, just to let everyone know, I am a big supporter of Joyce Meyer so it is very common if you spot her verbiage in my blogs. Thank you and good night.)